rocky road..

wussup wussup!?

dammm its been like 3 months since i last updated this thing soo lemme just do a little catchin up shall we?

Late August early September..
i didnt end up going to back to UK this fall due to some bull shitt between my grades, financial aid, and all this other stress ful stuff. it was just crazy alot of decisions/sacrifices were made but i guess it all turned out for the best.
I started workin for this factory that aint work out for long smh lol
my pops wanted me to do CC (community college) for a min. but that aint work out either. and plus it was super wack . I was like uhh FUK NOOO! -.-

Late September, early October..
Me and Tylar decided to become official 9/13, yea it may seem dumb bcus im not there but the feeling between us was mutual and both knew my situation at the time. So she jus said "I love you anyways and I'm going to make the best of this"I swear she my ride or die. :) lol

I also went down to UK for the first time since like May lol went to visit all my friends, my bros, my nigas since day 1, nearly everybody. While i was down there me and tylar got into an argument.

it was over that danielle chick from the summer smh. supposibly Tylar went through my facebook inbox and saw a msg from me that i sent to danielle about bein prego nd wat not. now remind you the siuation behind all of this was dead in the summer. turns out she never was prego. However Tylar just goes off and never wants to talk to me again blah blah blah..smh.
I leave her alone for a day or so and we get back on track again. hey love can do crazy things to you sometimes.
soo i end up leaving after a weeks stay in good ol lexvegas and as i SOON as i get home i had to plan my next trip which was homecoming/halloween

Late October/Early November
So after planning my Trip i arrive in Lex once again to my bestfriends of all time lol
this time i was planning on spending more time with Tylar nd wat not. The First party on friday was wack bcus most ppl didnt get in..smh saturday rolls around and there was a house party that mostly everybody went too and it was pretty good. But before the party I did a little bit of drinking. Now Normally i dnt drink and i recommend dont lol..IT TASTE LIKE NASTY ASS MEDICINE lol

any ways after all of that everything was great between me and Tylar until IT HAPPENED AGAIN -__-
danielle posted a wall post on my wall on facebook..and then Tylar starts to get all stubborn and beat around the situation. THATS ONE THING I ABSOLUTELY HATEEE ABOUT HER !!!!! i love everything else about her but that shit just IRKS MY NERVES. .soo we just talk it out for a min and she just completely cuts me off. The next day, I GO THE FUKK OFF on danielle. completely erase her out of my life. facebok, twitter, numbers everything. I was heated bcus this was some bullshit..i tell yo lame ass more than once to move on and leave me alone and yet you still here. WHAT IS YOUR MOTIVATION MY NIGA!?!

After a while the feeling of sadness and guilt is still between us. it last for about 2-3 days. I show her the msg and she says it makes her feel somewhat better.

at the End of my trip at UK we decided to remain together because Let's just face it we can go on without each other lol

ohh yea nd my cowboys is 1-6..like wtf is dis bullshit

I plan on spending thanksgiving with my bestfriend and surprising Tylar by showing up at her house because she dosent believe I'ma come lol

but all in all..it's been one helluva ride bro..

well well well...

wat it is bro

well summer's bout to close up and I'm headed back to KY in about 3 wks :)) can't wait

i know its been quite sometime since i updated..so let me just pick up where i left off

about a week later i went back to cincy to visit the same family. We went to a family reunion and saw some people my pops grew up with. I swear it was some crazy stories I heard about my dad. Also my cousin had her baby and it was a beautiful baby boy. #shoutout to that lil light skin niga lol.

I never got to tell yall about my summer love. I met this 16yr old gurl danielle earlier in the school year while i was at school. we had some long talks and stuff. she found out how cool nd stuff I was, she just never talked to me. Although she knew all my friends when I was in h.s. Anyways, after i got out for the summer we chilled and talked for a while and she seemed really koo. So I get to know her a little more. She seems to catch feelings like, really deep feelings. but it was kinda hard to balance between her and Tylar. It was like I want Tylar way more than her, but then again Danielle's here for the moment. but I can't get with Danielle bcus of 1. her age, 2. Im in college and she still in h.s., 3. long distance relationship never works, 4. I know I'm not gonna be happy bcus I know that I can do better.

I explained this to her and she cant seem to let go. which tells me that she wants more. I told her hold on til the future. if we not married or dont have any kids. i'll hit her up and maybe we can start our own family ;) lol

but yea thats my summer love issue..kinda weak but ehh its whatever.

3 weeks nd I'm gone :D

summer so far

*taps mic*

wat it is world?

its been a min huh? Almost a month since i last updated. well lets do some catchin up shall we?

hmmm..i had a letter sent in the mail last month from skoo about financial aid and to see where i was in terms of grades and i had to send that off. I got that taken care of before the deadline(thank goodness lol)
i spent july 4th in cincy wit my uncle Terrance and my lil cousins. it was good experience. the house parties was aight..culdve been better if there wasn't no dykes in der -_-

i gotta jobb woop woopp :D

i have a slight belief in signs. and example would be last year. i got a flyer in the mail from university of kentucky (never heard of em before then). all of the sudden, i would see a kentucky hoody..and then i would see more kentucky shirts and then i got my kentucky acceptance letter.
weird huh?

aight lately me and tylar have been talkin about kids and marriage and stuff rite..(crazy huh?) and she says she wants 2 lil gurls. a couple days later, i was at a pool and two lil baby gurls around the same age came up nxt to me and sat down. another sign was, when i was in cincy my girl cousin was 9 months pregnant and she had lower back tat(so does tylar) and it said "taurus 5.14.91" which is my sign also 2 days before my b-day. she also has a foot tatt (so does tylar)..weird aint it?

idk i just cant seem to escape her..im not tryin to, its jus weird how she's so attached to me

alota gurls talk to me.and i talk to alota gurls.but its not the same without her

culd this be love? idk wat she wants tho

tired of it

wussup world
Summer 2010 is really wack right now.
here's the issue, im reallly tired of getting turned down by jobs. it really sucks. how can I start a job if i get no experience from other ones?? "you have to start somewhere" they always say that. well ive been looking for that "somewhere" and keep ending up NOWHERE. I call and follow up on my application and nothing ever happens. it really bothers me :(

but oh well..i jus have to keep trying. its only for 2 months anyway. 2 months left in dis bitch and back to college bruhh bruhh..gahhhhh i miss it :)))

oh and as for me and Tylar we good..better than ever..lovin everything she says to me when we txt :).crazy thing is..we never talked on da phone lol..except once when she went off on me about tamika a few months ago :/..we talked about our future together..i wonder if we'll be together later on in life..that wuld be lovely, but then again..idk if i wanna get hurt all over again...

hope this summer at least turns around..tired of layin around lol

fav song right now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQL-q7tSpEs

She's Everywhere

soo yea..summer's going great :)

but there's one problem..replicas of tylar are everywhere. Im not trying to purposely stop thinking about her, because i like the gurl too much. but too many things are reminding me of her.

some examples are zebra prints are EVERYWHERE I GO. i see them on phone covers, blankets, purses, dresses. and the thing is I never seen zebra print on accessories until i met Tylar. SMH.

Another is Example is her last name. I see it on Facebook like every 2-3 days bcuz somebody dun added sumbody with her last name. and her last name came up on my video game yesterday. and the dudes first name was Travis. ughh.. I also seen a tall gurl wit micros in wal-mart the other day..same skin tone and everything.. jus a lil smaller bcuz of her age..

its crazyy. is it a sign or sumthin?..i jus wanna know why its happening to me??

Confusing..

Wussup?

well, my b-day was just yesterday! I'm 19 now! wooop wooop (lol). My grades have improved a little bit. I went from a C to a B in Psych.! I was happy bout that

As far as me and Tylar goes. its slowly drifting off :/. I think its because I'm coming onto her a little too strong. Me and Her made this little joke that we wouldn't talk to each other til August lmao. Well I'ma see if I can do that. or at least leave her alone for a while. I'm pretty sure I can :)

As for this summer love ish goin on, its going pretty well i suppose. Alotta gurls hittin me up, It's crazy. The thing is i'm single and I hope none of these gurls get the feeling that I'm a player

there is this one gurl that is deeply feelin me. but im avoiding her. for some odd reason, idk why tho

I guess you can say..I'm chasing somebody whose avoiding me, and Avoiding somebody whose chasing me..

Long Gone Missin..

heyyy yall

welp its the end of my freshman year! I just hope my grades come out as well as i want them too and I can come back in the fall. I swear it would suckk ass if i didnt come back next fall :(

But anyways. As you can see in my last posts about Tylar we got back on good terms, once again. I seen her a few days ago before she left to go home for the summer. We chilled and said our goodbyes, kissed each other knowing that we dont wanna leave each other for 3 months.

well its the summertime..i guess im ready for this summer love ish to start :]

leggoo!

i'm not sure anymore..

Wat it is world

It's dead week here at UK, so it's alot of studying goin on around here for finals. ughh :/

Soo guess who texted me last nite.. :( Tylar

She says hey Terrell...i'm like WTFFFFFFF LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! i'm tired of this bullshit, ARE U FREAKIN CRAZY!! quit playin with my emotions. I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!!

so i txt her back n say "wussup?"..lol

she says studying and stuff and I told her I'm doing the same. I told her i was surprised she texted me because she said she wasn't going to speak to me anymore. she said yea true,but there was reason behind that because of something that happened.

I'm like okk wat happened?..she says "i walked into class and i seen this girl talking to you on fb chat. and there was lots of hears and smiley faces and what not. i was just mad. then i think shegave you her number or you asked for it. IDK. it just made me mad"

I was like wow, ok the girl she prolly talkin bout is a friend. i don't talk to anybody but Tylar. I was kinda upset, so i replied telling her that she was just a friend and that girl is ONCE AGAIN my bestfriends lil boo thang, because they been talking since first semester.

So she says its koo, i understand now.

I don't know what it to do anymore. I guess we back to being koo again, idk. I'm just lost..ughh :(

SMH!!!

tell me why me and my bros got robbed..sumbody took his laptop, and my 360 out his dorm!! he locked the door but nobody broke in. its crazzzyyyyy I swear. Freshman year is crazy, too much for me to handle right now.

i lost a gurl, my 360, I dont know what to do.

It's not the end of the world so im all good, ive been in tougher, deeper, and more stressful situations.

just gotta pray about it and wake up tomorrow and hope all of this is will ease back into place :)

Really!? :(

I always do a random look at Tylar's profile on Facebook. It's just a habit(lol). Soo, Yesterday I come to find out that she deleted me as a friend on Facebook. I'm just sitting here like "wow, really!?".

I Tell my friends and they say "mannn fukk her, I told she was gon play yo ass once again. because its obvious she lying about this whole situation".

Real Talk I'm gon just leave it how it is. This is what she wants, and I'm not gonna force her back to me if she dosen't want me. I'm gonna give her some time to talk to some other dudes because she lost a good one :). Welp i guess i gotta let my baby go. If she comes back she was always mine, If not she never was

College Life..like WTF!

wussup world?

Now as you can see, me and tylar were on good terms :). We fell asleep into each other arms, i felt like i had the world in my hands. Nothing could compare to what we had at that time. Although, this were things get a little crazy.

About a week or 2 later I sent her a txt. She replies saying she's mad at me. I ask her "why?" and she says because "You're still talking to Tamika". Soo this is the issue between Tamika and Tylar. They were once best friends, but then they fell off and the beginning of the year. They were supposed to be roommates and stuff, but i don't know what happened between them. I was really cool with Tamika, but this was before i even knew Tylar and her had any beef. I was married on facebook to Tamika only as a friend though. It was just a joke, just for fun. Tylar gets upset and calls me out on it while we were arguing.

She said she was mad at me because she thought i was still talking to her. At this point me and Tamika had already "divorced". Not only does Tamika likes my best friend. She divorced me because she got mad at him. So, Im sitting here explaining to Tylar what this whole situation is about and pouring out my feelings to her. Then she brings up how she saw us "flirting" in the club. First off, i danced with Tamika maybe once, or twice. Then she used me a "boyfriend" to get away from this dude that was trying to talk to her. After a while I'm just talking to her and expressing my feelings to her and she just cuts me off. :/

The next day I'm hurt and lost because I didn't do anything. I'm working out and relieving my stress then I get a txt msg...from Tylar. She says "imy but im still upset"

I reply "i miss u more :("

Then we get back on good terms and doing great, texting each other and thinkin bout each other all the time. Lifes good right now

Then yesterday I get a random txt from her.. "she says "well i just found some shyt out! In a weird way. soooo this will be the last time I talk to you"..i'm sitting here like wtf..wat are you talking about. she says "it involves another girl, thats all im gonna say. I'll let you go". At this point im highly confused in my head like wat the hell is goin on. She never tells me the gurls name or anything. She just tells me she gonna let me go and she never wants to talk to me again.

Im highly upset right now because my gurl just leaves me out of nowhere and i'm sittin here lost. because im not fukkin no other gurl, but her. Everybody on campus knows that i talk to her. I'm just confused on this situation, Because ONCE AGAIN I didn't do anything.

I'm tired of this roller coaster ride and I need to get off. Getting my feelings hurt 3 times is not cool. I wanna leave her, but i really love this gurl. My friends say why you get back with her? somebody who hurts you once is bound to do it again. I guess they were right. I was tryna end this school year on good terms with her.

Maybe its not meant for us to be. Maybe she never really cared about me, like i care about her. maybe I'm just her security blanket, somebody to run back to. I can't take this anymore, because right now I'm just confused on what love is :(

back to normal..??

*taps mic*

been a min huh? sorry i haven't been updating. College is alot of hard work, in case ya didn't know (lol).

Oh yea if you didnt know i attend The University Of Kentucky. Yea yea we made it to the Elite 8 and lost to West Virginia. just look out for us next year BRUHHHH!!! Where i left off was about a month ago, where we fell off. Well recently, I seen Tylar in the library and it was the most AWKWARD thing I've ever experience. She looked up, she seen me..I looked over, i seen her and she looked back down. That was it. Never knew it was gonna be like that. I couldnt even get a wave at least, or some acknowledgement.

I stop talking to her until around march 5th. I was eating lunch with one of her best friends, Sidney. Sidney was the one who hooked me up with Tylar when i first met her back in October.

She asked if i been texting Tylar or talkin to her. I said Naw, i havent talked to her in a month." Sidney told me to text her and see how's she doing. I thought maybe she might not text back. knowing the situation.

I talked to my bros, my nigas, my goons, about it and they told me that I had nothing to lose. Which was true.

So I txt her....anticipating a response, thinking that i may not get one. I recieve a txt from her she says.."heyyy strangerrr" kinda chuckled a lil bit knowing that she was smiling on the other side of the phone.

Ever since then I've been talking to her, here and there seeing hows she's doing. I seen her walking around campus recently. This was the first time i seen her in person since like january, because we stay on opposite sides of campus. I hugged her she smiled and i smiled. we talked for a minute, and she asked if i was going to this party on saturday. I told i was going and that she should save me a dance.. she smiled and laughed and said alright.

Saturday came and i walk through with my entourage, my nigas , my bros (lol) and i see her. she's already 5'11, and with them 5 inch heals on she was about my height but i was still taller. she look gorgeous as usual. I came up and gave her a hug and she always smells good too. Just love bein around her.

We danced and told her goodbye and goodnite. she txt me a smiley face. she wanted me to come over after she got done eating with her friends. So i come over and we chill and we do grown people stuff :) (lol). afterwards we cuddle like some grown folks, she fell asleep on me, she starts kissin my body, i kiss her forehead and we just fall asleep in each others arm. I just start thinkin to myself, what does she really want. Is it me? or is she tryna play me all over again?..because i'll be damned if i get hurt twice in one semester!! especially by the same girl. I wanna take it to another level with her, and love her like I want to, but its like I can't. I just don't wanna have to face the same problems again. I'm just gonna let it play out and see what happens....

well..

its hard to get over her..its certain things dat make me wonder, why would you let me in sooo deeeeepppp and drop me of here..

never understood, but it is what it is..my friends say forget her, i'll find better, she not even worth it, your gonna find better

im hopin i will lol..I gave all dis trust into some thing i thought was gonna be..but i guess i can't control what she thinks about me or what she does..

well off to class lol

The Beginning of Us...

Sooo ive been talking this gurl named Tylar since about november, really koo chick laid back and everything. Real wifey type of chick. Never really found a gurl like her. Everybody see's us as being a couple, i walk around campus and her friends would be like "where yo boo Tylar at" lol. Only thing is we never really got in a relationship, but we did everything and couple could do. Hung out, chilled, etc. I care about her and I'm completely caught up with her. Deep in this situation, even got some songs that remind me of her when I'm alone.

Yesterday i got an IM on facebook from a guy i never met before, he asked me if i was messing wit dat gurl. I responded yea, and he told me well she messing wit me to. I aint know what to say, i asked "what she be saying to u". he told me "missin a niga, lovin a niga, wanna have kids n shit". I was completely speechless, hurt inside. he was like "man dont even worry bout it, bcuz i had a feeling she was messin around out here, im bout to expose her for who she really is". told me he had a lil sex tape and everything. The worst part is Valentines day is right around the corner and i was planning on doing something with her. Now that this happened idk what ima do. I'm thinkin about talkin to her, and talkin it out and finding out what's up. Or I can just leave it alone and never speak to her again..