Confusing..

Wussup?

well, my b-day was just yesterday! I'm 19 now! wooop wooop (lol). My grades have improved a little bit. I went from a C to a B in Psych.! I was happy bout that

As far as me and Tylar goes. its slowly drifting off :/. I think its because I'm coming onto her a little too strong. Me and Her made this little joke that we wouldn't talk to each other til August lmao. Well I'ma see if I can do that. or at least leave her alone for a while. I'm pretty sure I can :)

As for this summer love ish goin on, its going pretty well i suppose. Alotta gurls hittin me up, It's crazy. The thing is i'm single and I hope none of these gurls get the feeling that I'm a player

there is this one gurl that is deeply feelin me. but im avoiding her. for some odd reason, idk why tho

I guess you can say..I'm chasing somebody whose avoiding me, and Avoiding somebody whose chasing me..

Long Gone Missin..

heyyy yall

welp its the end of my freshman year! I just hope my grades come out as well as i want them too and I can come back in the fall. I swear it would suckk ass if i didnt come back next fall :(

But anyways. As you can see in my last posts about Tylar we got back on good terms, once again. I seen her a few days ago before she left to go home for the summer. We chilled and said our goodbyes, kissed each other knowing that we dont wanna leave each other for 3 months.

well its the summertime..i guess im ready for this summer love ish to start :]

leggoo!

i'm not sure anymore..

Wat it is world

It's dead week here at UK, so it's alot of studying goin on around here for finals. ughh :/

Soo guess who texted me last nite.. :( Tylar

She says hey Terrell...i'm like WTFFFFFFF LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! i'm tired of this bullshit, ARE U FREAKIN CRAZY!! quit playin with my emotions. I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!!

so i txt her back n say "wussup?"..lol

she says studying and stuff and I told her I'm doing the same. I told her i was surprised she texted me because she said she wasn't going to speak to me anymore. she said yea true,but there was reason behind that because of something that happened.

I'm like okk wat happened?..she says "i walked into class and i seen this girl talking to you on fb chat. and there was lots of hears and smiley faces and what not. i was just mad. then i think shegave you her number or you asked for it. IDK. it just made me mad"

I was like wow, ok the girl she prolly talkin bout is a friend. i don't talk to anybody but Tylar. I was kinda upset, so i replied telling her that she was just a friend and that girl is ONCE AGAIN my bestfriends lil boo thang, because they been talking since first semester.

So she says its koo, i understand now.

I don't know what it to do anymore. I guess we back to being koo again, idk. I'm just lost..ughh :(

SMH!!!

tell me why me and my bros got robbed..sumbody took his laptop, and my 360 out his dorm!! he locked the door but nobody broke in. its crazzzyyyyy I swear. Freshman year is crazy, too much for me to handle right now.

i lost a gurl, my 360, I dont know what to do.

It's not the end of the world so im all good, ive been in tougher, deeper, and more stressful situations.

just gotta pray about it and wake up tomorrow and hope all of this is will ease back into place :)

Really!? :(

I always do a random look at Tylar's profile on Facebook. It's just a habit(lol). Soo, Yesterday I come to find out that she deleted me as a friend on Facebook. I'm just sitting here like "wow, really!?".

I Tell my friends and they say "mannn fukk her, I told she was gon play yo ass once again. because its obvious she lying about this whole situation".

Real Talk I'm gon just leave it how it is. This is what she wants, and I'm not gonna force her back to me if she dosen't want me. I'm gonna give her some time to talk to some other dudes because she lost a good one :). Welp i guess i gotta let my baby go. If she comes back she was always mine, If not she never was

College Life..like WTF!

wussup world?

Now as you can see, me and tylar were on good terms :). We fell asleep into each other arms, i felt like i had the world in my hands. Nothing could compare to what we had at that time. Although, this were things get a little crazy.

About a week or 2 later I sent her a txt. She replies saying she's mad at me. I ask her "why?" and she says because "You're still talking to Tamika". Soo this is the issue between Tamika and Tylar. They were once best friends, but then they fell off and the beginning of the year. They were supposed to be roommates and stuff, but i don't know what happened between them. I was really cool with Tamika, but this was before i even knew Tylar and her had any beef. I was married on facebook to Tamika only as a friend though. It was just a joke, just for fun. Tylar gets upset and calls me out on it while we were arguing.

She said she was mad at me because she thought i was still talking to her. At this point me and Tamika had already "divorced". Not only does Tamika likes my best friend. She divorced me because she got mad at him. So, Im sitting here explaining to Tylar what this whole situation is about and pouring out my feelings to her. Then she brings up how she saw us "flirting" in the club. First off, i danced with Tamika maybe once, or twice. Then she used me a "boyfriend" to get away from this dude that was trying to talk to her. After a while I'm just talking to her and expressing my feelings to her and she just cuts me off. :/

The next day I'm hurt and lost because I didn't do anything. I'm working out and relieving my stress then I get a txt msg...from Tylar. She says "imy but im still upset"

I reply "i miss u more :("

Then we get back on good terms and doing great, texting each other and thinkin bout each other all the time. Lifes good right now

Then yesterday I get a random txt from her.. "she says "well i just found some shyt out! In a weird way. soooo this will be the last time I talk to you"..i'm sitting here like wtf..wat are you talking about. she says "it involves another girl, thats all im gonna say. I'll let you go". At this point im highly confused in my head like wat the hell is goin on. She never tells me the gurls name or anything. She just tells me she gonna let me go and she never wants to talk to me again.

Im highly upset right now because my gurl just leaves me out of nowhere and i'm sittin here lost. because im not fukkin no other gurl, but her. Everybody on campus knows that i talk to her. I'm just confused on this situation, Because ONCE AGAIN I didn't do anything.

I'm tired of this roller coaster ride and I need to get off. Getting my feelings hurt 3 times is not cool. I wanna leave her, but i really love this gurl. My friends say why you get back with her? somebody who hurts you once is bound to do it again. I guess they were right. I was tryna end this school year on good terms with her.

Maybe its not meant for us to be. Maybe she never really cared about me, like i care about her. maybe I'm just her security blanket, somebody to run back to. I can't take this anymore, because right now I'm just confused on what love is :(

back to normal..??

*taps mic*

been a min huh? sorry i haven't been updating. College is alot of hard work, in case ya didn't know (lol).

Oh yea if you didnt know i attend The University Of Kentucky. Yea yea we made it to the Elite 8 and lost to West Virginia. just look out for us next year BRUHHHH!!! Where i left off was about a month ago, where we fell off. Well recently, I seen Tylar in the library and it was the most AWKWARD thing I've ever experience. She looked up, she seen me..I looked over, i seen her and she looked back down. That was it. Never knew it was gonna be like that. I couldnt even get a wave at least, or some acknowledgement.

I stop talking to her until around march 5th. I was eating lunch with one of her best friends, Sidney. Sidney was the one who hooked me up with Tylar when i first met her back in October.

She asked if i been texting Tylar or talkin to her. I said Naw, i havent talked to her in a month." Sidney told me to text her and see how's she doing. I thought maybe she might not text back. knowing the situation.

I talked to my bros, my nigas, my goons, about it and they told me that I had nothing to lose. Which was true.

So I txt her....anticipating a response, thinking that i may not get one. I recieve a txt from her she says.."heyyy strangerrr" kinda chuckled a lil bit knowing that she was smiling on the other side of the phone.

Ever since then I've been talking to her, here and there seeing hows she's doing. I seen her walking around campus recently. This was the first time i seen her in person since like january, because we stay on opposite sides of campus. I hugged her she smiled and i smiled. we talked for a minute, and she asked if i was going to this party on saturday. I told i was going and that she should save me a dance.. she smiled and laughed and said alright.

Saturday came and i walk through with my entourage, my nigas , my bros (lol) and i see her. she's already 5'11, and with them 5 inch heals on she was about my height but i was still taller. she look gorgeous as usual. I came up and gave her a hug and she always smells good too. Just love bein around her.

We danced and told her goodbye and goodnite. she txt me a smiley face. she wanted me to come over after she got done eating with her friends. So i come over and we chill and we do grown people stuff :) (lol). afterwards we cuddle like some grown folks, she fell asleep on me, she starts kissin my body, i kiss her forehead and we just fall asleep in each others arm. I just start thinkin to myself, what does she really want. Is it me? or is she tryna play me all over again?..because i'll be damned if i get hurt twice in one semester!! especially by the same girl. I wanna take it to another level with her, and love her like I want to, but its like I can't. I just don't wanna have to face the same problems again. I'm just gonna let it play out and see what happens....